Self-Reflection: Relationships

I have never blogged about relationships and I've never really seen myself as a professional cos I've honestly only had two, and have been in my current relationship for the past 3 plus years. This blog post DEFINITELY isn't gonna be lovey-dovey, nor is it going to be comparing the two relationships I've had. This is just for a reminder to myself to keep my head in the game and obviously, look at the bigger picture.

So why wouldn't I give advice to other couples? Well, to be honest, unless you are a certified therapist, you shouldn't be giving any form of advice. Why do I say this? Every relationship is different. Every partner, even though you are the same person, will be different which will lead to different scenarios, different circumstances and most definitely, different personalities.

I think the difference in myself between the last relationship and the current one is definitely my maturity. I still am super "manja", but I think there's a different demand now that I am more mature. I have also learnt a lot about myself and I will continue to discover myself. My partner would have to continue to learn about me, as much as I will continue learning about my partner. In my current relationship, because we are also on the road of finding our paths in our respective careers, it can sometimes be quite frustrating. But the best part about this is, we learn more about each other, sort of at the same time. And what I like to remind myself here, is that we are not there to help solve each other's problems, but just for support. Of course, trying to help would be great, but the main deal here is to support one another. When the one you love supports what you do, that's 60% of the battle won and the frustrations gone.

To me, love isn't just about saying "I love you", but actually showing love, support, care, commitment, dedication. A relationship when you're in your teenage years, it's mostly about exploration. Learning to be responsible and accountable to and for someone. When you're my age, it's more than exploration. You don't exactly have the time. I think what took me aback was a talk that I heard by Nick Vujicic.

For those of you who know me well, I come from a family whose parents are separated and I live with my mum. My dad obviously lives with the other party. Since my first relationship, I've always been fearful of adultery because of my background. Thing is, although I wasn't cheated on technically, I would still say that I was cheated on, because three weeks after we broke up, my ex was already with someone new. But I am honestly grateful that I went through that relationship. He taught me a lot of things about relationships. Especially what NOT to do.

According to Nick, FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. This fear is a seed that will soon grow into a tree and bear fruit. I've had the fear of adultery for a very very long time. Even with my current partner. But then, Nick said something. Once the seed is planted, it will continue to grow and grow no matter how much you try to stop it. The only way is to just UPROOT the damn tree. And then, when I got a hug from him, that was when I decided that I would uproot my fear. So I did just that. I decided to take the plunge and just uproot my tree of fear. I've never been happier.

My current relationship seems a bit more on the calmer side now. Haha. Of course, my partner has been an absolute gem, helping me through so much. My insecurities and my dramas. The poor chap has suffered, I believe. So now that I've grown up (a teeny bit!), I think it's time for me to at least give this chap a smoother journey and ride it out. At the moment, we just want to enjoy our lives as single people. We know we are committed to each other, and we know that we want that future, but for now, let's just enjoy our lives. I think for me, relationships tend to be a lot easier when you remove the element of expectations. You want him to say "I love you"? Ask for it. You want him to kiss you? Ask for it. If you don't ask, you won't get and you can't get disappointed if you don't get it.

To me, and again I reiterate, this post is meant as a reminder to myself and not an "advisory" post. I am very happy in my current relationship, and as we continue to grow and learn more about each other, may we grow stronger as individuals and continue on this journey feeling more confident each day.

I love you.

Love always,
DancerGal Sheryl!

In the Life of DancerGal: Four Drug-store Make Up Products that SavedMe!

Okay, so yesterday was super crazy. I knew that there was this event called the Asia Pacific Entrepreneurship Awards 2013 (APEA 2013) happening yesterday. The Founder/Mentor of Cempaka Schools, Dato' Freida Pilus, won the award under the Outstanding Entrepreneurship Award. Because the event was of such that SammoBammo made a tux just to wear to the event, when I found out that I wasn't attending this event, I was sorta relieved (no shopping = saving $$$!). However, as luck would have it, yesterday itself at around 11am, I received a call saying that someone would not be able to make it and that I was specifically invited by Dato' Freida straight after this person couldn't come. This happened while I was at work, which meant no clothes, no contact lenses and no make up.

So during lunch, I flew home to pick up a selection of dresses for her to choose for me, and made calls to my optician to make sure he got me the contact lenses. I asked for dailies so that I could wear them for that night only. When I got back to my office, I realised that I had forgotten about make up. So after work, I headed back to SammoBammo's home where we took turns showering and getting ready. By the time we were both dressed, it was almost 6.45pm. We left for Bangsar Village where I ran into Caring Pharmacy to pick up the following 4 products.

Revlon Grow Luscious Plumping Mascara

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Honey

Maybelline Clear Smooth Shine Free Clear BB Stick

SilkyGirl Eyeshadow Quad

So in the car, I worked up some magic. I first started out with the BB Stick and used it as Foundation. Made dots and lines across my face and blended it in with my fingers. Yes, did all of this in a moving car. All in the name of vain! It was tough cos not only did I not have a proper brush, I also had no rubber bands to tie up my hair, which meant that hair kept falling back into my face. And cos at this point, I had already put on my contacts, I wasn't able to face the aircond as well.

After blending in the foundation, I started on the eyes using the quad. Used the silver on my middle and inner parts of the eyes. My fingers were the brushes. It was tough using my fingers because with brushes, you can define how thick and thin you want them to be. So it was kinda tough making them thin. Once I had blended out the silver which I used to sort of define my eyes, I used the navy blue to line the top part of my eyes. Seemed pretty simple right? Well, aside from using my finger as an eyeliner brush, technically it was kinda easy. 

I wanted to use my eyeliner and mascara but cos the car was being such a bumping monster, I couldn't do it up until I got to the hotel. So I used the Balm Stain and rubbed a teeny bit onto my fingers to be used as cheek stains (because I was too cheap to get a blusher) and then went onto stain my lips. Killed two birds with one stone! Woot woot! 

When we were in KL town, traffic was kinda bad, and at each traffic light, I would whip out the mascara and liner. By the time we got to the hotel (Shangri-la Hotel, Kuala Lumpur), I was already done with everything :) SammoBammo was pretty impressed by the whole thing especially cos I did everything while my car was super bumpy! By the time I got to the hotel, I looked something like this...

Final look when I got to the hotel...

SammoBammo and I 

At the end of the night...

Photo with SammoBammo and his dad

I was pretty pleased with the look I got by just picking them off the shelves in 5 mins. Although it was quite stressful, but I'm grateful things turned out the way they did. :) I had a great and fantastic evening and I cannot wait for more awesome stories to come! 

Love always,
DancerGal Sheryl! 

In the Life of DancerGal: A truly memorable night, 20th August 2013...

On 20th August 2013, I was dared to lift up my hand and ask for a hug. Initially, I was frightened, but when I remembered how much I wanted to meet this person face-to-face and everything that I ever dreamed about, I did it.

I did not hug just anyone.

I hugged NICK VUJICIC. 

A moment that can never be bought. A priceless and truly memorable moment. A hug from Nick Vujicic.

For the rest of my life, I will always remember that one day, the day when I when I got a hug from Nick Vujicic. The day when I cried on HIS shoulders. The day when I realized that you do not need arms to hug someone. You need sincerity and love. I remembered him whispering "I love you very much, God loves you very much". Thank you.

Kum Gheng's hands were shaking when he took this photo. It was truly amazing. 

Thank you, Kum Gheng, for giving me this once in a lifetime opportunity. Truly an unforgettable moment, and all possible only thanks to Inspire.FM. Thank you once again. 

Keep living life without limits. 

Love always, 

DancerGal Sheryl! 

In the Life of DancerGal: Raya 2013

This year, I celebrated Raya for the second time around. I've been in a (relatively) steady relationship with SB for about 3 years plus now, but only started celebrating Raya with him since last year. Somehow, this year's Raya felt different.

Hari Raya in Malaysia, as most of you may know it, is a celebration of the mark of the ending of the holy month of Ramadan (fasting). So last year, I tried fasting for the very first time. I think if I'm not mistaken, I lasted like less than a week? A few days maybe? This year (and quite proudly!), I fasted for FOURTEEN days! Yupe! 14. I was super pressed for time this year though, so here's my random Raya story :)

It was the weekend before Raya when I got my Baju Kurung. I was totally traumatised by that experience. Imagine this. Last weekend of shopping before heading home for the celebration. Now imagine the number of people in ONE shopping mall. It was like hell on earth. It took me about 20 minutes to find the right one, bought it and got the hell out. To which, I actually did :)

SammoBammo and I in my yellow baju kurung! 

On the morning of Raya day 1, I arrived bright and early in the morning to SB's house. This was kinda funny but fun. Because SB was getting ready to the mosque, he shouldn't come into contact with anyone of the opposite sex that he isn't related to. So we couldn't even shake hands, let alone hug. Haha! It was pretty fun. And so, he went off while I went off with his mum.

After his mum was done with the hairdresser, we headed off to SB's grandma's house and the song that came to my head was "FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD"!!! I was so excited to get a whiff of the food that was prepared. But of course, I went in and made sure that I "salam" everyone and wished everyone. Once that was done, we made our way over for the food!

I'm sorry I don't have any photos cos we were too busy eating! MUAHAHAHA!

After the makan-makan session, we proceeded to the living room where we had some chatting and a photo-taking session. It was very relaxing and enjoyable :)

SammoBammo and I

All in all, I had an awesome couple of hours with SB and his family :) Thank you for the awesome Raya celebration. Selamat Hari Raya to all :)

Love always,
DancerGal Sheryl!