Self-Reflection: Feeling "low" and "blue"? Fret not... You're not alone!

Everyone thinks that they are alone. Everyone thinks that every other person is ignoring or neglecting them. Your first mistake?

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EXTERNAL APPROVAL???

A motivationMY friend is going through the fact that this person is feeling "left out". My question would be, why? Why are you feeling "left out"? Is there something wrong with you? NO! Nothing is EVER wrong with you. So why do you still feel "left out"?

Have you ever considered the circumstances?

It takes a LOT to feel left out. Wanna know why? I consciously chose to not have "friends" when I was in high school. I never liked anyone, I loved being alone, but I still had friends from church. Circumstances led me to being "alone". I couldn't speak any other language but English while my other friends spoke in Chinese or Malay. I would always go to school alone, in fact I used to sit alone in class, and then eat alone, then go home alone. I was used to being alone. But surprisingly, I didn't feel left out. Why? Of course now I realized why. It was because I didn't really care for the people around me then, nor did I want to know about their lives.

You feeling left out, isn't really the problem. It's the problem of the friendship. The relationship. That is bigger that what YOU're feeling. If you are reading this, please ask yourself. If the people who are making you feel "left out" care for you, you wouldn't be feeling like this anyway!

COMMUNICATE!

Communicate how you feel to the people whom are making you feel this way. Chances are, it would be a 50-50 shot. There could be 2 outcomes:

1. You were wrong. You were being overly sensitive and misreading the situation. This is the best case scenario. Your friendship would be back to normal, and every one would be all happy and dandy.

The second outcome, however, isn't such a lovely one.

2. They aren't really interested in you anymore. They don't really wanna be your "friend" anymore.

But here's the thing. Are you a 5 year old child? That you need friends like that? Get the heck away from people like them! They don't need you and you don't need them. I always believe in this statement:

"Surrounding yourself with the right people 

can turn your day around"

As much as you don't deserve to be treated that way, they don't deserve to have a friend like you. While you may have lost the friendship, but you gain strength. The strength to not be overly dependent and bonded to others. The strength to say "NO" when you need to. The strength to go out there and smile to the other friends around you, who treat you well and make you feel "in". 

When you feel left out, think of whether the friendship is worth salvaging or not. If yes, then communicate. If not, turn around, and just smile. Because your smile could turn someone's day around. 

Remember, there's nothing worth feeling bad about. These days, lifestyles are just so quick, that you don't really have the time to meetup, sit and chat over coffee. But that's what phones, social media and technology are for! Put them to good use! Don't make yourself feel "left out". 

Last but not least, TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN AND SMILE... :) 

Love always, 

DancerGal Sheryl <3 

Self-Reflection: Self Improvement and Self Change

I was sorta flipping through the "Photos of Me" section on Facebook, and I went all the way back to 2011 and a teeny bit of 2010 (New FB account). The first thought that crossed my mind was.... "DAYUMMM GIRL! Y U SO FAT?" And then, I kinda woke up, and wondered why was that the FIRST thought that crossed my mind? Was I really that fat? 

This photo was taken back in 2011. Damn. 

At that point in time, I didn't really "see" myself as "fat". I was happy and I was eating. A Lot. I was with my family, I had good friends around me and to be honest, I didn't "see" anything wrong with myself. BOY WAS I WRONG! I was pissed every time I wanted to dress up, and realized that I couldn't because I was too fat. The other lady in the photo? She loves her clothes, and sometimes, she gives them away to us. I couldn't fit into anything that she wanted to give me, and then, I started feeling miserable. 

I was still dancing at the time, but it was getting less and less. One day, I was attending my ballet class, and the teacher mentioned that "I didn't have the stamina". I got even more miserable. I wanted to lose the weight, and I wanted to lose it BAD. Another dance competition on TV was completely out of the question because I had a job at the time, and really couldn't afford to take a 3-month leave. I got so miserable, that I started to lose my temper really easily. Here's the sick part of it all. I was still binge eating. If there was anything I'd refuse to give up, it was FOOD. 

And then, I found the Original Bootcamp programme!!! 

I found this programme thanks to a colleague of mine, who attends the same programme as well. She was fit, and I totally admired her attitude. I thought long and hard about it. Had super long conversations with SammoBammo, just to make sure that I was ready for this. Hence, I took the first step. I signed up for this programme back in November 2011. That was the day, my life changed. 

The first session, was HORRENDOUS! I had eaten too much before, and threw up during the session itself. But me being me, I refused to quit. A few people had actually told me that I wouldn't be able to make it, as it would be too tough for me. SEVEN MONTHS LATER.... Guess what my favourite part of Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are? :) 

So, here I am, seven months later. I look back at everything I have accomplished. I was NEVER an athlete nor did I EVER consider myself an athlete. I go way back, when I could barely hold a 10 second plank. Now, I'm holding planks by the mins (well, actually I can only go 1 minute, but that's 60 seconds :P). I have found it in me to love running. I've done 3 marathons since Bootcamp (Mizuno, Brooks, and PJ Dawn), and I get this sheer joy, when I hold that finisher medal in my hands. :) 

I wouldn't consider this post "bragging", but here's how I look, right now :) 

This photo was taken during Jessica's Birthday, about 3 weeks ago

I feel damn good about myself, and the best part is? I am CONTINUING to work at it. I used to be someone who would seek "external approval". Yes, I do think I could lose some more weight and really trim up, but I know that the possibility of it happening is quite real. Before I started Bootcamp, I kept telling myself that I was scared. Then one day, SammoBammo told me this: The only person stopping you from being happy and achieving what you want, is yourself. Which was true! I was letting people and my fear of failure get to me. It took MYSELF to step out of the comfort zone, and dive into the mud (literally!). 

Original Bootcamp has really helped me with finding myself back in all this mess. The Corporals, Sergeants, and all my Bootcamp-mates have helped me literally stand back on my own two feet. Losing all the weight is one thing (although it was the main thing), but being happy was another. I was not confident with myself. I used to cry during my first few sessions because when we did partner-based workouts, I would actually feel bad for making my partner wait too long for me. But now, it's not about that. The objective of having a partner is so that he/she can motivate you and you will be encouraged to move faster and push yourself. I believe in pushing myself to my limits. I know now, that if after EACH session, if I don't feel DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Syndrome) within the next day, I know I haven't worked myself hard enough and I'll push myself the next day. :) 

To be honest, this post was really about me. About how I pushed myself out of the comfort zone, improved and changed myself for the better. I believe that everyone has a right to be happy, but no one is going to take the first step for you. Be bold. Be brave. You need to take that ONE step. The very first one, and believe in your heart that you can be happy. Because if you don't, you'll just never get there. 

If you are unhappy with how things are right now, MAKE A DAMN CHANGE! 

Love always, 

DancerGal Sheryl <3